I leave from Edinburgh at 8.20am and arrive in Vancouver at midnight.
I cannot believe it. I'm also trying to go through all my stuff and get rid of things... but to no avail.
See you in 7 weeks Canada.
30 October 2013
04 October 2013
Helloooo
Well Scotland, it's been swell.
I'm now in the homestretch - only 11 weeks left here. I can't explain the mixed emotions of sadness and excitement that I feel, mostly because I don't know which one is hitting me the hardest.
I never looked at this experience with an end because it always felt, and will always feel, like my heart and soul were born here. The immeasurable love and comfort this city and it's people have given me will remain a permanent stamp on who I am as a person now. I love it - I'm addicted to the feeling of being home. I also know going back it won't be the same. No matter how sad and lonely I felt living in Vancouver (I should stress this was a personal struggle and the beautiful people I was surrounded with helped keep my head above water), I know it won't be what it was once I step on that soil, once again I'm enclosed by the big lights in a big city, but I think I've got a stronger skeleton to hold me together.
2 years! Whew does time fly!! I left at 20 years old - barely out of diapers (haha). I'm older now but I don't feel as haggard as I did. The excitement aforementioned is to share who I am with the people I love who I haven't seen in donkies. It's been ages now that I reflect on it but as you can probably imagine it doesn't feel like that. It's crazy how I get flashes sometimes of your faces and it makes me smile to know that I will see you soon.
I haven't really spoken much of my plans of coming home but they are loosely based on this:
- afford a ticket home
- get home safe and sound
- eat a buttload of sushi
- celebrate Christmas
- celebrate New Years (2014!)
- settle
- find a job
- sort out obvious moving-away-and-not-looking-back issues
- save money again for future endeavors
There happens to be another influence in my life now. I mean the timing of it is comical! I met this amazingly beautifully honest person named Jener who is a born and bred Scotsman. He's also my best friend. Now I've been here for a whole year and 7 months before we were introduced so it's a little disheartening to only have 11 weeks left here. I really hope that I can introduce you all to him someday. You will have to look up because he is 6 foot 7 inches tall. I know that long-distance is a death sentence in most cases but, I'm not ready to give up just yet, so I won't.
I have to say that the talk of goodbye parties has brought tears to my eyes but I will most definitely make the most of them nonetheless and go out with a bang!
Hopefully I'll be back for good someday. Where there's a will, there is a way. But for now I'm preparing to come back to Vancouver and start the next chapter in my life.
A x
I'm now in the homestretch - only 11 weeks left here. I can't explain the mixed emotions of sadness and excitement that I feel, mostly because I don't know which one is hitting me the hardest.
I never looked at this experience with an end because it always felt, and will always feel, like my heart and soul were born here. The immeasurable love and comfort this city and it's people have given me will remain a permanent stamp on who I am as a person now. I love it - I'm addicted to the feeling of being home. I also know going back it won't be the same. No matter how sad and lonely I felt living in Vancouver (I should stress this was a personal struggle and the beautiful people I was surrounded with helped keep my head above water), I know it won't be what it was once I step on that soil, once again I'm enclosed by the big lights in a big city, but I think I've got a stronger skeleton to hold me together.
2 years! Whew does time fly!! I left at 20 years old - barely out of diapers (haha). I'm older now but I don't feel as haggard as I did. The excitement aforementioned is to share who I am with the people I love who I haven't seen in donkies. It's been ages now that I reflect on it but as you can probably imagine it doesn't feel like that. It's crazy how I get flashes sometimes of your faces and it makes me smile to know that I will see you soon.
I haven't really spoken much of my plans of coming home but they are loosely based on this:
- afford a ticket home
- get home safe and sound
- eat a buttload of sushi
- celebrate Christmas
- celebrate New Years (2014!)
- settle
- find a job
- sort out obvious moving-away-and-not-looking-back issues
- save money again for future endeavors
There happens to be another influence in my life now. I mean the timing of it is comical! I met this amazingly beautifully honest person named Jener who is a born and bred Scotsman. He's also my best friend. Now I've been here for a whole year and 7 months before we were introduced so it's a little disheartening to only have 11 weeks left here. I really hope that I can introduce you all to him someday. You will have to look up because he is 6 foot 7 inches tall. I know that long-distance is a death sentence in most cases but, I'm not ready to give up just yet, so I won't.
I have to say that the talk of goodbye parties has brought tears to my eyes but I will most definitely make the most of them nonetheless and go out with a bang!
Hopefully I'll be back for good someday. Where there's a will, there is a way. But for now I'm preparing to come back to Vancouver and start the next chapter in my life.
A x
08 April 2013
I Will!
Be coming home. I want to stay so much but I can't justify the cost - enough said. If a more feasible/non-life destroying option arises, I'll take it, but I can't see that happening! Sad ending to this fairy-tale I suppose.
I don't know what's going to happen when I get back but I'll worry about it nonetheless.
Anyway the countdown has officially begun - in 9 months I will step foot on Canadian soil.
Rae xx
I don't know what's going to happen when I get back but I'll worry about it nonetheless.
Anyway the countdown has officially begun - in 9 months I will step foot on Canadian soil.
Rae xx
08 February 2013
Plans
So. There is a distinct possibility at this point that I could be coming home in January of next year, only to come back to Scotland. There's a commitment I need to decide whether or not to make and it's been pretty difficult. Commitments are never easy but the potential awards can't be valued... so what is does one do?
There's also a very good possibility that due to some friendly mates, I could head over to Australia for a couple years. Manual labour but guaranteed good times.
Then, and not least, there's Vancouver.
I tend to hold onto decisions until finally I realize that I've already made my mind up from the very start... but here, where I stand right now, there is no way to tell.
I am in the pursuit of happiness... and oh, what a ride it has been. I would never limit myself to a set plan - I packed up and headed for Edinburgh without any clue about a job, no friends, and no idea about the culture/people; however, I can certainly say that was the way to go. No expectation made me vulnerable, and willing to rely on myself to get me by. No group of friends to pick me up when I fell down or supportive answers of re-assurance to float my boat. When reality hit, it hit hard, and I came to know who I am now. Let me say that I was surprised at the capabilities I hold. Having said that, I know that coming home... I'm not the same person. I can genuinely admit that Vancouver, in all it's glory, is not my home.
It may be that I'm in some funk or just that everything is new and exciting so I want to cling on, but, I don't believe that.
I love my mum, my brother, my close family and all those who stuck around when times got tough. I love the Dickaus; the emails and encouragement are limitless. If I could pack you all up and take you with me, I would. I know I can't and so it's up to me to deal with the space and time that passes. BUT, I want this. I want to be out here, over there and everywhere.
I know blogging isn't regular, and I apologize. I read every email yet I don't get back. I do apologize. There is a lot beyond my control going on, and for a control-freak like me, it's hard to find solid ground.
Love you lots,
Rae
p.s. My bestest friends are visiting me. I am such a happy little bee! xx
There's also a very good possibility that due to some friendly mates, I could head over to Australia for a couple years. Manual labour but guaranteed good times.
Then, and not least, there's Vancouver.
I tend to hold onto decisions until finally I realize that I've already made my mind up from the very start... but here, where I stand right now, there is no way to tell.
I am in the pursuit of happiness... and oh, what a ride it has been. I would never limit myself to a set plan - I packed up and headed for Edinburgh without any clue about a job, no friends, and no idea about the culture/people; however, I can certainly say that was the way to go. No expectation made me vulnerable, and willing to rely on myself to get me by. No group of friends to pick me up when I fell down or supportive answers of re-assurance to float my boat. When reality hit, it hit hard, and I came to know who I am now. Let me say that I was surprised at the capabilities I hold. Having said that, I know that coming home... I'm not the same person. I can genuinely admit that Vancouver, in all it's glory, is not my home.
It may be that I'm in some funk or just that everything is new and exciting so I want to cling on, but, I don't believe that.
I love my mum, my brother, my close family and all those who stuck around when times got tough. I love the Dickaus; the emails and encouragement are limitless. If I could pack you all up and take you with me, I would. I know I can't and so it's up to me to deal with the space and time that passes. BUT, I want this. I want to be out here, over there and everywhere.
I know blogging isn't regular, and I apologize. I read every email yet I don't get back. I do apologize. There is a lot beyond my control going on, and for a control-freak like me, it's hard to find solid ground.
Love you lots,
Rae
p.s. My bestest friends are visiting me. I am such a happy little bee! xx
15 December 2012
Ah
Since I'm sitting in tonight due a generous co-worker who came to work sick, might as well start on the to-do list...
05 December 2012
Haven't Seen You In A While...
Hello!
In a couple of days I will have been here for 11 months. Oh how time flies when you're having fun, as they say, and it sure does.
Work has been intense. There was a restructuring of our division that was proposed not long ago that had me gasping for air because I thought I was on the chopping block. Unfortunately, people who have dedicated something like 8 years were made redundant. They are good people too, and it sure brought a solemn feeling to the office. With these people gone, we are about to acquire 5 new people and if you've ever worked on a team, which I'm sure they must've felt when I started, it'll be hard to adjust to work ethics. Some people are great... others, not so much, and with deadlines that are pertinent on other people doing their job... I'm hoping for some eager beavers to walk through the door is all I can say! On the flip-side of unfortunate happenings at work, I survived my first annual return. This is once a year when we contact all 19500 members and tell them they need to update their information and confirm that they have complied with continuing professional development standards for this year. It's no fun I assure you and my ear was glued to the phone for the first two weeks while answering emails at the same time. My multitasking abilities have never been put to such good use! Ha. I don't mind being busy - the time flies and I do feel like I'm actually helping the institute's members directly. Oh, also part of the restructuring is the idea that my team, Central Reg, is to take on customer service. I can't say that anyone is thrilled about this, but to be fair, we really don't have any customer service at all throughout the institute which for a professional body is kind of bad. I know it will mean more work and training and stress but the reputation of the institute will grow in a good way and hopefully bring in more members. So, it's bittersweet I suppose.
Along with work has brought nights out! There was a curry night were we had some amazing selection of curries, naan bread, poppadoms, appetizers and beer. Yesterday we had a Christmas day with a Christmas market set up in our main meeting room, sweets brought in by colleagues to raise money for charity, and then topped off with snacks and mulled wine in the afternoon. Other things like drinks after work and seeing comedy shows throughout the festival in the summer, and coming up will be our division Christmas lunch followed by the institute Christmas lunch and then it's HOLIDAYS BABY!! Wooooohoooo!
As some of you may know, I am not coming home this year. I toyed with the idea of coming home since the summer and thought it would be a good idea. However, and probably most obvious, it is even MORE expensive to fly home during the holidays and I haven't been gone that long! I do miss everyone, that goes without saying, but I will see you soon. It sucks but I DO have Skype, just email me to arrange when and I will hopefully still be awake! (8 hours ahead here!)
So the social side of things have really picked up. One of the guys who worked with me is a DJ and knows a LOT of people in Edinburgh and all of them are sound. He is one of these people you can't hate and even when he's a goof, people still love him. Haven't heard one bad thing about him and I have to say I'm in agreement. Anyway, he brought me out to meet his mates one night and I have never looked back. I see them pretty much every weekend and have an amazing time with them all. This weekend will kind of outline the activity of the past 3 months - Thursday is drinks with some people from work, Friday is a show by these three guys whom I love (one is a music producer - he is actually so lovely, and the other two are DJs with great banter), and Saturday is a show at Musika where I feel like I have been living since I go there so much, and, it's hopefully going to be a big one where everyone will make it out! I love dancing and a weekend where two out of three days are filled with hours of good music, great people and dancing is a fabulous weekend for me!!
I know that the question of if I have met someone over here is something I have evaded to talk about because it's really not that simple. After being in a relationship for so long, some can just get right back out there while others are reclusive and scared of commitment. Guess which one I relate to? The latter. I'm not saying there hasn't been opportunities, because, Europe is friendly, but I just am having a hard time, partly because I don't want anything at the moment. I've probably heard most of the sayings... 'Just give it a chance' is common but it's not that easy! You have to be vulnerable and unsure and you guys know being a 'tad' bit of a control-freak, this is really an unappealing prospect. So suffice to say, I am not in a relationship and can't foresee pursuing that venture anytime soon, however, stranger things have happened.
With that out of the way, today is my last annual leave day and I am in the process of cleaning up my room, getting laundry done, and finding/listening to some new music. I have an olive loaf waiting for me to toast it in the kitchen and a london fog waiting to be concocted.
I forgot to mention that Ish and I have continued to escape the city sometimes, most recently going to St Abbs which is a massive, hill-rolling countryside with cliffs that would take your breath away. Although it was cold, we sat and talked, leaving room for silence for our thoughts as well. It was a beautiful afternoon and I'm very grateful to have the opportunities to do that being in Edinburgh. Also have been spending more time with the people I first met when I got here, sometimes going over to their flat just to hang out. The German Christmas market is in full swing along Princes Street and I'm hoping to head there with a few of them in the upcoming weeks. There's a Ferris wheel and multiple Christmas stalls - by the way, shoot me an email if there's anything you'd like for Christmas and I'll have a gander :-) Also planning a mulled wine and homemade treats night with some people, those who won't be making it home for the holidays, so that should be good.
I also made Erin and Kurt a birthday dinner celebration for their gift since they didn't want anything. Treated them to a 5 cheese lasagna with spinach noodles (Mozz, Romano, Parmesan, Gruyere, and Ricotta) with stuffed mushrooms and homemade french bread, and then for dessert, white chocolate cheesecake and coconut lemon bar. Wish I would've taken pictures! I absolutely love cooking and 'tis the season at the moment so I will be embarking on many sweets recipes.
Love you all and although I might not reply to emails right away, doesn't mean I don't read them. Sometimes it's easier to reply to the emails that are just a line or two, but don't shy away from the essay-esque ones either.
Ar xx
In a couple of days I will have been here for 11 months. Oh how time flies when you're having fun, as they say, and it sure does.
Work has been intense. There was a restructuring of our division that was proposed not long ago that had me gasping for air because I thought I was on the chopping block. Unfortunately, people who have dedicated something like 8 years were made redundant. They are good people too, and it sure brought a solemn feeling to the office. With these people gone, we are about to acquire 5 new people and if you've ever worked on a team, which I'm sure they must've felt when I started, it'll be hard to adjust to work ethics. Some people are great... others, not so much, and with deadlines that are pertinent on other people doing their job... I'm hoping for some eager beavers to walk through the door is all I can say! On the flip-side of unfortunate happenings at work, I survived my first annual return. This is once a year when we contact all 19500 members and tell them they need to update their information and confirm that they have complied with continuing professional development standards for this year. It's no fun I assure you and my ear was glued to the phone for the first two weeks while answering emails at the same time. My multitasking abilities have never been put to such good use! Ha. I don't mind being busy - the time flies and I do feel like I'm actually helping the institute's members directly. Oh, also part of the restructuring is the idea that my team, Central Reg, is to take on customer service. I can't say that anyone is thrilled about this, but to be fair, we really don't have any customer service at all throughout the institute which for a professional body is kind of bad. I know it will mean more work and training and stress but the reputation of the institute will grow in a good way and hopefully bring in more members. So, it's bittersweet I suppose.
Along with work has brought nights out! There was a curry night were we had some amazing selection of curries, naan bread, poppadoms, appetizers and beer. Yesterday we had a Christmas day with a Christmas market set up in our main meeting room, sweets brought in by colleagues to raise money for charity, and then topped off with snacks and mulled wine in the afternoon. Other things like drinks after work and seeing comedy shows throughout the festival in the summer, and coming up will be our division Christmas lunch followed by the institute Christmas lunch and then it's HOLIDAYS BABY!! Wooooohoooo!
As some of you may know, I am not coming home this year. I toyed with the idea of coming home since the summer and thought it would be a good idea. However, and probably most obvious, it is even MORE expensive to fly home during the holidays and I haven't been gone that long! I do miss everyone, that goes without saying, but I will see you soon. It sucks but I DO have Skype, just email me to arrange when and I will hopefully still be awake! (8 hours ahead here!)
So the social side of things have really picked up. One of the guys who worked with me is a DJ and knows a LOT of people in Edinburgh and all of them are sound. He is one of these people you can't hate and even when he's a goof, people still love him. Haven't heard one bad thing about him and I have to say I'm in agreement. Anyway, he brought me out to meet his mates one night and I have never looked back. I see them pretty much every weekend and have an amazing time with them all. This weekend will kind of outline the activity of the past 3 months - Thursday is drinks with some people from work, Friday is a show by these three guys whom I love (one is a music producer - he is actually so lovely, and the other two are DJs with great banter), and Saturday is a show at Musika where I feel like I have been living since I go there so much, and, it's hopefully going to be a big one where everyone will make it out! I love dancing and a weekend where two out of three days are filled with hours of good music, great people and dancing is a fabulous weekend for me!!
I know that the question of if I have met someone over here is something I have evaded to talk about because it's really not that simple. After being in a relationship for so long, some can just get right back out there while others are reclusive and scared of commitment. Guess which one I relate to? The latter. I'm not saying there hasn't been opportunities, because, Europe is friendly, but I just am having a hard time, partly because I don't want anything at the moment. I've probably heard most of the sayings... 'Just give it a chance' is common but it's not that easy! You have to be vulnerable and unsure and you guys know being a 'tad' bit of a control-freak, this is really an unappealing prospect. So suffice to say, I am not in a relationship and can't foresee pursuing that venture anytime soon, however, stranger things have happened.
With that out of the way, today is my last annual leave day and I am in the process of cleaning up my room, getting laundry done, and finding/listening to some new music. I have an olive loaf waiting for me to toast it in the kitchen and a london fog waiting to be concocted.
I forgot to mention that Ish and I have continued to escape the city sometimes, most recently going to St Abbs which is a massive, hill-rolling countryside with cliffs that would take your breath away. Although it was cold, we sat and talked, leaving room for silence for our thoughts as well. It was a beautiful afternoon and I'm very grateful to have the opportunities to do that being in Edinburgh. Also have been spending more time with the people I first met when I got here, sometimes going over to their flat just to hang out. The German Christmas market is in full swing along Princes Street and I'm hoping to head there with a few of them in the upcoming weeks. There's a Ferris wheel and multiple Christmas stalls - by the way, shoot me an email if there's anything you'd like for Christmas and I'll have a gander :-) Also planning a mulled wine and homemade treats night with some people, those who won't be making it home for the holidays, so that should be good.
I also made Erin and Kurt a birthday dinner celebration for their gift since they didn't want anything. Treated them to a 5 cheese lasagna with spinach noodles (Mozz, Romano, Parmesan, Gruyere, and Ricotta) with stuffed mushrooms and homemade french bread, and then for dessert, white chocolate cheesecake and coconut lemon bar. Wish I would've taken pictures! I absolutely love cooking and 'tis the season at the moment so I will be embarking on many sweets recipes.
Love you all and although I might not reply to emails right away, doesn't mean I don't read them. Sometimes it's easier to reply to the emails that are just a line or two, but don't shy away from the essay-esque ones either.
Ar xx
14 September 2012
The Visual Goods.
I had a really hard time taking pictures while swimming in the clearest ocean you could ever see.
We spent 3 hours in the water, Ish and I.
I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Definitely visit Barcelona.
It's an amazing place.
Ar xx
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